So… I cried most of the day Thanksgiving Day. By Saturday night I found myself dancing (yes, dancing) and laughing harder than I’ve laughed in a long time. And I get the feeling this is how it’s going to be for the next couple of months. One of the side effects of Libby’s steroids is “mood swings”. She’s got an excuse. I don’t.
You may, or may not, know that I wrote a while back about thanksgiving. About giving thanks in all things. About how I wanted to practice doing this. About how I have been practicing doing this. Sometimes. Let’s take Thanksgiving Day. Yes, the one day of the year that literally has the word thanksgiving in it. Yeah, that’s ironically the day I failed most miserably at being thankful. Embarrassing, right? Libby was sick. Really sick. She couldn’t keep anything down, she didn’t want to eat or drink anything, and I was a nervous wreck because I had all this medicine I desperately needed to get in her. I had to call the doctor. Hib and I weren’t being exactly kind to each other. We missed Thanksgiving dinner with his family. Which was a major bummer because we missed seeing some beloved family we don’t get to see that often. And this was Annie’s first Thanksgiving. I tried hard all day to be thankful. But my thankfulness felt sarcastic, probably because it was. And so I resorted to complaining. And crying. Ah, “mood swings”.
Of course, looking back there were plenty of things to be thankful for. PLENTY of things. Like the cozy home we’re blessed with. And doctors who work on Thanksgiving Day. And zofran. Like my sister and her family coming over so we could spend time with family, after all. Like Libby’s cousins who comforted her with her favorite books and songs. Like the amazing friends and family who checked in on us all day long. And who pray for us. I AM so thankful. I was so thankful, but I couldn’t see it for the mess that is myself. Hey, I’m a work in progress.
By Friday, Libby was feeling much better and we were able to make it to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. This side of our family is huge. And I found myself basking in the love and laughter we were surrounded with for the weekend. And by late Saturday night we had a full-blown dance party raging in the kitchen because, well, that’s what we do. And I am so thankful.