Sunday, April 28, 2013

Prayers, Please!

We took Libby to the ER this afternoon, and she was admitted to the hospital. She is seemingly in a lot of pain, and we're not sure why. She's also started running a low grade fever. They're running the whole gamut of tests. The entire thing is eerily familiar to the way she acted during the weeks leading up to her leukemia diagnosis. In fact, I haven't seen her act this way since then. And I'm not handling it all that well.

In the midst of all this, the other night, Hib and I happened to catch up on our church's most recent message. The message was about following Jesus. And, interestingly, the message was about fear. And about overwhelming faith that drives out fear. It was timely. Because here I am. Out here on the edge. And all of the sudden my faith feels really small. I go kicking and screaming when I'm taken to the edge. Fears and anxieties mounting. Emotions rebelling against my will. And Andy's imitation of Him plays in my mind...Yep, I knew all about this, too. I'm Jesus. What are you so afraid of? He goes before me. And I choose to trust Him. But I'm still scared.

Thank you so much for your prayers. Truly. It's overwhelming. It's awesome. We're so humbled. And so, so thankful. We love you. And if you would, please continue to pray for our precious little Libby. Pray for her pain to subside. Pray for healing. Pray for wisdom for these wonderful doctors. Pray for me. :)

I'll update when I know something!

Sunday, April 21, 2013


Here are a few pics of our wonderful Easter, courtesy of my Aunt Amy-photographer extraordinaire. Thank you, Amy!

Hope all of you are excellent! We're doing great. Minus the crazy steroid rages she suffered through the first week of the month, Libby feels fantastic! We're so very thankful. Our next treatment is scheduled for May 1st. LOVING having a treatment just once a month!!!

We love you all!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

We Made It


Libby starts the maintenance phase of her treatment this Thursday! She’ll be sedated for her IT chemo, and then she’ll receive her monthly IVIG treatment. Hib will be out of town, so I’m especially asking for your prayers for this treatment and the day after! 

However, the hard part-they tell us-is over. According to our doctors, this phase will become our new normal. And I certainly hope we adjust, because we’ll be doing whatever it is we’ll be doing for the next year and a half. Treatments will only be once a month. The chemo is not going to be nearly as strong as the stuff she’s been getting.  She will begin to regain her strength. His timing.  I have to smile. Spring is here, and as all the gorgeous flowers sprout up everywhere around us, so do the beautiful blonde hairs on my little girl’s head.

I read a book nearly a year ago, before Libby was even diagnosed with leukemia. A divine coincidence, one might say. I happened to pick it up again the other day. Here’s one of the first things I had underlined: People who insist on happiness never find joy…Shattered dreams are the prelude to joy. Always. In the middle of our pain, God is working for our joy. At some point, He works in ways we can see. 

I’m thrilled we’ve made it to Libby’s maintenance phase. I’m ecstatic thinking about enjoying a relaxing summer, lazy days outside, vacations, and not heading to the hospital every week.  But my expectations for how I think life should go are eroding. That’s what happens when you face circumstances you can’t control.  I’m not being pessimistic. I actually count myself fortunate God is training me in this early. He doesn’t want this world to work for me. He didn’t design me that way. I was made to desire much more. I was created for another world. And everyday my hunger grows for His redeemed world. This world, and everything in it, will eventually fail me. The only thing that will not is Him. Happiness is fleeting. Joy is everlasting.

So to title this post “We Made It” is a big presumption. :) He knows I know this. We made it to here. We have no idea what’s next. But it doesn’t matter. I’m so thankful and so happy things are going well. More importantly, I’m joyful. As my expectations of this world erode, my expectations of Him continue to grow.