Thursday, October 23, 2014
Thursday, October 9, 2014
A little over two years ago Libby was diagnosed with leukemia.
I remember like it was yesterday. The initial fear that swept over me. The pain that engulfed me. More than that, I remember His peace. In the thick of it. Indescribable Peace. He met me there. Smack in the middle of tears, anger and hurt. It's a place I've found myself over and over again the past several years. This seemingly mysterious dichotomy between pain and suffering and a good and gracious God. Followed by the revelation that this contrast is only in my mind. Instead, pain and suffering and God are intricately linked.
Oswald Chambers wrote, The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but the difficulty of it does not make us cave in. It rouses us up to overcome. The truth is we all struggle. We all have overwhelming lives, broken relationships, health issues. We all have something at one point or another. Life here isn't easy. And He told us it wouldn't be. But our circumstances don't dictate our Joy. They rouse us up to overcome. They cause us to look up. They help us see He has already overcome.
As I struggle. And as I watch others struggle. I pray for His eyes. And in what I consider, by far, one of the best answers to my prayers. Sometimes He gives me His eyes.
These struggles. They're blessings. Incredible blessings. Because when I am weak. He is strong. When I am small. He is bigger.
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9
We've come to a bit of an oasis on our journey. And He's blowing our minds. Libby is off therapy. In better words, she is finished with chemo!!! It's surreal, honestly. It feels amazing. And that's an enormous understatement. We're so thankful. Another enormous understatement. We just keep praising Him.
The doctors want to keep Libby's port in for another couple of months. They want to continue her IVIG (the antibodies they flush her with to help boost her immune system) infusions through the thick of the cold/flu season. They're talking about January as her potential port removal surgery date.
There are countless things I'm learning on this journey of ours. One of the biggest is my girls are not mine. They're His. It's one of the things He began working out with me early on. Like the moment He gave them to me. And I still give Him fits. l like to meddle. I still try to grasp for control.
( Present Day :) )
One of our doctors asked me if I was nervous about Libby being off therapy. He knows all too well the mixed emotions at this juncture. Sure, she's finished taking those nasty drugs. BUT she's finished taking those nasty drugs. The drugs that fight an even nastier cancer. I get that. Absolutely, I've thought of that. And my flesh wants to worry. But I want to rest in Him. I don't have to worry. The bottom line is we're not just praising and thanking Him because Libby is cancer free today. We're praising and thanking Him because our all-loving Father is in control.
You know, the One with the perfect plan. :)
(Present Day :))
And by the way, I hope you know how much your prayers mean to us. And I hope you know how much you mean to us. I hope you know how much we love you.
No more chemo, y'all!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!