I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored
in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel,
who summons you by name. Isaiah 45:3
This month has been tough. We knew it would be. Libby is in
the midst of a miserable phase of treatment. She doesn’t feel well. We’re
exhausted in every way most days. And it’s Christmas. Cue the miracle…
Remarkably, I’m finding myself more readily shifting my
focus to Him. He has not always been default. I tend towards control. I like to
fixate on an issue, complain about it, worry about it, and pretend I can come
up with a way to solve it. That’s what I do. But He’s giving me this gift. And let’s
be clear, sometimes I still resist taking it. But He’s whispering to me to lean
in. He’s giving me His eyes. And even if it’s for just a moment here and there,
it’s awesome. In the middle of complete chaos, I’m able to step back. And He’s
showing me there is treasure even here.
This is a season of our lives that, to many, may look
dark. Surprisingly, I’m finding
it’s a season marked with much beauty. Although, the day to day ain’t always
pretty. It’s a season that has my little ones demanding much of my time, but
gives me priceless time to be with them, and delight in them. Could He be molding me into a
more loving and patient mom? A season that
has been challenging for our marriage, but nevertheless we’re growing. Could
He be refining our marriage? A season that
has been littered with discomfort and disarray, but still filled with so much
joy. Could He be changing me? I’ve prayed for all of these things.
Specifically. His work is unmistakable. This is a season He is revealing more
and more of Himself to me. And I can’t get enough. It’s the absolute best gift.
Father, I want to know you more.
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