Hilton Head

It's been way too long! The maintenance phase of Libby's treatment has proven to be exactly what the doctors told us it would be. Downright easy. Comparatively speaking. Thank you, God! She has a minor surgery this Friday to replace her port. She'll also receive her IT and IV chemo. She receives this particular chemo only once every three months, now.  That's nothing for us. :)

I was speaking with a dear friend last night about the drastically different place we found ourselves in this time a year ago. We talked about anticipations. Looking ahead to the future. Expectations. And how God calls us to be in this moment. The one happening right now. Fully dependent on Him. Living in His presence. That's the way He designed us. When we look ahead we can't (or don't) see Him with us. Providing for us. Taking care of us. We only see the obstacles. And the fear and anxieties mount. Looking back, I swear it's crystal clear. He is all over it. Everything. Every. Single. Tiny. Step. I pray I can take what He's teaching me. This trust He's instilling in me. And transfer it. Easier said than done. I am so thankful for all He is doing. All of it. I don't always show it. :) But I am. 

With that said, let me share with you a little bit! A year ago, we were in the hospital just getting Libby's leukemia diagnosis. A summer in the hospital with one little one. And another little one at home. This year, we're making up for lost time. Summer vacations and all.

Johnson Family Vacation

Hilton Head

Libby LOVED the ocean. Everything about it.  One of my favorite parts of our entire trip was when we put her down the first day, she crawled immediately to the ocean, leaned over and took a huge gulp of the salty water. Hib and I cringed. She swallowed, gave us a huge smile and said, Mmmmmm. Like it was the best thing she had ever tasted.

Annie was a little more hesitant. She spent her first day clinging to us like a little spider monkey. And preferred time on her beach blanket. Or in Gigi's arms. Just taking it all in. 

But by day two, with A LOT of Daddy's persuading, she came around. 

The weather was perfect. The girls played hard. Slept hard. And went back for more. 

We got to see family we don't get to see nearly enough. And the girls loved being with everyone. So did Hib and I. Aunt Tara was a HUGE hit. 

We weren't without some classic vacation moments. Like when Hib couldn't get the girls' little tent to fold back up. After 10 minutes of trying and sweating profusely, he gave up and tried to carry it back unfolded to the best of his ability. About 50 yards from the beach he gave up and promptly threw it in some bushes. ( I went back to get it later)

 In general, the trips to the beach with two toddlers were always eventful. Like two little tigers pent up in a cage. Bites and all. We were a traveling circus act.

These girls are growing up. Right before our eyes. How can we not try to live right smack in the middle of these precious moments?

Hib made the comment on the car ride home that the trip was really fun. Better than he expected. I wholeheartedly agreed with him. Then, I looked back and saw Libby eating a piece of bacon. Bacon I had given her on the trip TO Hilton Head. Four days prior.  I told him she was eating a four-day-old piece of bacon. And he told me it was okay. That's the thing about expectations.  There's freedom in letting them go. And you'll have much more fun along the way.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic summer! Love y'all!!!

Treatment Update

Libby has her monthly clinic visit tomorrow. This month, it doesn't consist of much-just blood counts and her IVIG treatment. However, we have had one minor hiccup. Did I tell y'all this already? Her port has shifted from its correct position. And they have to try to shift it back. Apparently, it's not that big of a deal. But she does have to be sedated for the procedure. They called me today and told me they wanted to do this tomorrow.  So, we'll be at the hospital early tomorrow for sedation, and then hopefully will still have enough time to get through her clinic treatment.

Okay, two hiccups. We also had to take Libby to the ER last night for croup. Thankfully, she and Hib were in and out after a quick steroid treatment. We're praying the croup stays away tonight, and that it doesn't deter all the doctors are hoping to get accomplished tomorrow. We'll see. 

Please continue to pray for us.  So many of you labor in prayer for us. Thank you!!

Ahhh, Summer!

Happy Birthday, Libby!

Three years ago God broke our hearts wide open. 

 He gave us a gift.

 One we had prayed for. 

 He answered our prayers. 

 And, true to form, He exceeded our expectations. 

She changed our world. And we thank God for her every single day. He blessed us. Big time. 

 Happy Birthday, precious angel!!!

 Libby, you're three years old and Daddy and I still sneak in your room at night to watch you sleep and kiss on you like you're a newborn. You're just simply TOO lovable.  

 Your have the most amazing heart!

We ADORE you, Libby!!! 

(p.s. please stop getting older)

Happy Mother's Day!

I have to laugh when I think about the three years I've been a mom. And all they've entailed. Motherhood has been filled with unexpected contradictions for me.  So many mundane moments interwoven with so many extraordinary ones.  It's exhausting at times. And other times it's almost effortless. But I'm most surprised at how God has used motherhood as an avenue to meet me so personally. To grow me. Change me.

He's shown me so much about His love. There is such inexplicable love we have for our children. Yet somehow, this heart bursting love we have for our little ones doesn't even compare to the love He has for us. His children. My girls, even as toddlers (or especially as toddlers:) ), are imperfect. Just like me. But they're perfect. They're precious. They're so worthy of love. Because they're exactly who they were created to be. Same goes for us. And nothing we do or don't do will change that. Ever.

I'm thankful for all God is teaching me as a mom.  I'm thankful I'm learning I will never be enough. I'm not supposed to be. But He is. Being a mother has given my COUNTLESS opportunities to rely on my Father. Like I'm supposed to. And these opportunities help me know Him better. He reveals more of Himself every time. And I'm able to bask in His amazing grace.

It's almost Mother's Day. And I'm thankful He has blessed me with the opportunity to me a mother. I relish the two perfect gifts He has given me. My heart swells on a daily basis. It's a crazy love. But more than that, I'm SO thankful I'm His daughter. 

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!