Ahhh, Summer!

Happy Birthday, Libby!

Three years ago God broke our hearts wide open. 

 He gave us a gift.

 One we had prayed for. 

 He answered our prayers. 

 And, true to form, He exceeded our expectations. 

She changed our world. And we thank God for her every single day. He blessed us. Big time. 

 Happy Birthday, precious angel!!!

 Libby, you're three years old and Daddy and I still sneak in your room at night to watch you sleep and kiss on you like you're a newborn. You're just simply TOO lovable.  

 Your have the most amazing heart!

We ADORE you, Libby!!! 

(p.s. please stop getting older)

Happy Mother's Day!

I have to laugh when I think about the three years I've been a mom. And all they've entailed. Motherhood has been filled with unexpected contradictions for me.  So many mundane moments interwoven with so many extraordinary ones.  It's exhausting at times. And other times it's almost effortless. But I'm most surprised at how God has used motherhood as an avenue to meet me so personally. To grow me. Change me.

He's shown me so much about His love. There is such inexplicable love we have for our children. Yet somehow, this heart bursting love we have for our little ones doesn't even compare to the love He has for us. His children. My girls, even as toddlers (or especially as toddlers:) ), are imperfect. Just like me. But they're perfect. They're precious. They're so worthy of love. Because they're exactly who they were created to be. Same goes for us. And nothing we do or don't do will change that. Ever.

I'm thankful for all God is teaching me as a mom.  I'm thankful I'm learning I will never be enough. I'm not supposed to be. But He is. Being a mother has given my COUNTLESS opportunities to rely on my Father. Like I'm supposed to. And these opportunities help me know Him better. He reveals more of Himself every time. And I'm able to bask in His amazing grace.

It's almost Mother's Day. And I'm thankful He has blessed me with the opportunity to me a mother. I relish the two perfect gifts He has given me. My heart swells on a daily basis. It's a crazy love. But more than that, I'm SO thankful I'm His daughter. 

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!

We're Home!!!

Praise the Lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all your prayers. Libby weathered her stay in the hospital like the trooper she is.  And her paranoid Mama calmed down. Her blood work indicated there was definitely something going on in her little body. They just weren't sure what. The scary stuff was ruled out, and they kept her a couple of nights just to be safe. We're praying it was a nasty virus that worked its way out of her system. Whatever it was, it certainly seems to be gone, because she is fantastic! We're so blessed to have all the prayer warriors we do, including our nurses, doctors, friends, complete strangers, and incredible family. I can't tell you how LOVED and prayed for we feel in these moments. God certainly provides for us. He has given us all of you! We love you!

Prayers, Please!

We took Libby to the ER this afternoon, and she was admitted to the hospital. She is seemingly in a lot of pain, and we're not sure why. She's also started running a low grade fever. They're running the whole gamut of tests. The entire thing is eerily familiar to the way she acted during the weeks leading up to her leukemia diagnosis. In fact, I haven't seen her act this way since then. And I'm not handling it all that well.

In the midst of all this, the other night, Hib and I happened to catch up on our church's most recent message. The message was about following Jesus. And, interestingly, the message was about fear. And about overwhelming faith that drives out fear. It was timely. Because here I am. Out here on the edge. And all of the sudden my faith feels really small. I go kicking and screaming when I'm taken to the edge. Fears and anxieties mounting. Emotions rebelling against my will. And Andy's imitation of Him plays in my mind...Yep, I knew all about this, too. I'm Jesus. What are you so afraid of? He goes before me. And I choose to trust Him. But I'm still scared.

Thank you so much for your prayers. Truly. It's overwhelming. It's awesome. We're so humbled. And so, so thankful. We love you. And if you would, please continue to pray for our precious little Libby. Pray for her pain to subside. Pray for healing. Pray for wisdom for these wonderful doctors. Pray for me. :)

I'll update when I know something!

Easter

Here are a few pics of our wonderful Easter, courtesy of my Aunt Amy-photographer extraordinaire. Thank you, Amy!

Hope all of you are excellent! We're doing great. Minus the crazy steroid rages she suffered through the first week of the month, Libby feels fantastic! We're so very thankful. Our next treatment is scheduled for May 1st. LOVING having a treatment just once a month!!!

We love you all!

We Made It

 

Libby starts the maintenance phase of her treatment this Thursday! She’ll be sedated for her IT chemo, and then she’ll receive her monthly IVIG treatment. Hib will be out of town, so I’m especially asking for your prayers for this treatment and the day after! 

However, the hard part-they tell us-is over. According to our doctors, this phase will become our new normal. And I certainly hope we adjust, because we’ll be doing whatever it is we’ll be doing for the next year and a half. Treatments will only be once a month. The chemo is not going to be nearly as strong as the stuff she’s been getting.  She will begin to regain her strength. His timing.  I have to smile. Spring is here, and as all the gorgeous flowers sprout up everywhere around us, so do the beautiful blonde hairs on my little girl’s head.

I read a book nearly a year ago, before Libby was even diagnosed with leukemia. A divine coincidence, one might say. I happened to pick it up again the other day. Here’s one of the first things I had underlined: People who insist on happiness never find joy…Shattered dreams are the prelude to joy. Always. In the middle of our pain, God is working for our joy. At some point, He works in ways we can see. 

I’m thrilled we’ve made it to Libby’s maintenance phase. I’m ecstatic thinking about enjoying a relaxing summer, lazy days outside, vacations, and not heading to the hospital every week.  But my expectations for how I think life should go are eroding. That’s what happens when you face circumstances you can’t control.  I’m not being pessimistic. I actually count myself fortunate God is training me in this early. He doesn’t want this world to work for me. He didn’t design me that way. I was made to desire much more. I was created for another world. And everyday my hunger grows for His redeemed world. This world, and everything in it, will eventually fail me. The only thing that will not is Him. Happiness is fleeting. Joy is everlasting.

So to title this post “We Made It” is a big presumption. :) He knows I know this. We made it to here. We have no idea what’s next. But it doesn’t matter. I’m so thankful and so happy things are going well. More importantly, I’m joyful. As my expectations of this world erode, my expectations of Him continue to grow.